Grudge Match: The Detroit Pistoffs versus the Pistolwhippers
The Pistoffs evened the score in the 6th jam, and then took the lead back in the 7th. This bout might not have been the main event, but the teams were still making it interesting.
The bizarre penalty pattern continued into the beginning of the second half. The Pistoffs' Combat Cat was sent to the penalty box in the 2nd jam, and Off the Hook scored 14 points.
Captains Lazer Beam and Cottoncandy Princess gave their postbout analysis. Lazer was jubilant, and Cotton was only mildly annoyed to be talking to me:
Lazer Beam: We won! We Won! We Won! I've been a Whipper for four years, and we've never beaten them before in that time. This is an extremely great night for us. They're a tough team, and they don't lose very often. It's a good night.
Detroit Area Dork: You weren't always leading. The first couple of jams were rough for the Pistolwhippers. Did you have trouble getting started?
Cottoncandy Princess: I don't think so. I think we just had to play.
D: What did you do to gain momentum after that slow start?
L: We just kept pushing. You know what I mean? We kept our cool. Candy and I made decisions before the game started. We were going to make some line changes, things like that. It seemed to work for us. We tried to be smarter, not work harder, and it worked tonight. And we stayed out of the box.
C: Yes we did.
D: Early in the second half the Pistoffs starting catching up to you, narrowing the lead. Did you start to get worried?
D: How would you sum up this season for the Pistolwhippers?
C: We started in last place, and ended up in third. That's pretty damn good.
L: We have built our team so that now we're in third place. As a Whipper, I've been here four years, and I've never finished in third place. This is the first season ever. I've always been either last or forth. It feels great to be moving on up. Next year we're coming for the fucking olive.
D: How has the team evolved over the season?
C: Learning to play together.
L: Most of our team is either on the travel team or the Motorcity Disassembly Line, and I feel like that helps us. When you're practicing more, you're skating more on the track. Candy is captain of the Motorcity Disassembly Line. I'm captain of the travel team. So it kind of works out, and I feel like we brought the team together, and it helped us.
D: Any player retirements coming that you know of?
Both at the same time: Not that we know of.
C: And if they know, they better not.
L: That's right. Boo started crying, "I'm so happy". I'm like "why are you crying?". She said "I'm just crying for joy". It's a big night for the Whippers. We have not beaten them in five years. It's a big night.
C: Are we done now?
The Championship: The Grand Prix Madonnas versus The D-Funk Allstars
The Grand Prix Madonnas entered this bout as defending champions with a perfect record. D-Funk just barely made it into this bout, with their 2-2 season record. While D-Funk lost to the league's last placed time during the season, they came very close to beating the Madonnas when they faced off. Even though the Madonnas are the newest team in the league, they're not the underdogs anymore.
Postbout analysis with D-Funk is always like a roundtable discussion. Fatal Femme, Eight Mile Rose, Uniballer, and Luigi O'Rally shared their thoughts:
Detroit Area Dork: So what are you all thinking right now?
Uniballer: I'll say what I think everybody's thinking. You come here to play, and you want to go toe-to-toe, and the penalties are almost two and a half times one way and not the other, it's tough. You can't win like that. It's wrong. Anybody that was here tonight, you heard what they thought at the end of the bout. Everybody left, nobody was clapping.
Eight Mile Rose: That's what I'm hearing from my friends.
Detroit Area Dork: The beginning was rough for you. You didn't score for the first couple of jams. Did you have trouble getting going?
U: Yeah, to say the least. We have a problem with overthinking. You saw what happened. We fell behind. We say "screw it, let's play derby", and came back and made a run at them.
D: The score was close at halftime, but they starting pulling away from you in the beginning of the second half. Were you worried?
Fatal Femme: I have my magic number. I don't like to be forty behind. I think forty is little harder to come back from. As you saw, one jam can be twenty points, and you're back in it. You just never know from how much you're down whether you can come back or not. All you can do is try.
Luigi: You just keep pounding away at them. It's a sixty minute game. I'ts nonstop movement. You can get your little two point, three point jams, but if you pull off that twenty point jam you're back in. You're never really concerned at all.
U: A long time ago, we started every jam as zero-zero. Don't worry about the score. Don't worry about the score after the jam. Win the jam you're in. So I know the girls cheat and look at the score, but our mentality has always been zero-zero every jam. Win the next one, and get on a roll. We did that tonight, and it's a shame that we couldn't just play.
8: I remember the point where we were all so happy with each other because we came together so well. That's the D-Funk I love, and that's why I do this.
D: Did you come into this bout with a plan to shut down Racer?
U: No. We know exactly what they were going to do, and they did it. So props to them, but they didn't do anything that we didn't know was coming. They play one way, and when you win, you can do that. It is what it is.
8: We didn't have a plan for their jammers. We just had a plan for our jammers, and to give them all the playing time they deserve.
F: You can't practice around one person. She's not the team. There's a lot of them you have to worry about. We didn't have a plan for just her, no.
D: How would you sum up this season for D-Funk?
F: It's been a fun year. We've worked hard. We really ramped it up the last couple months. We got to do other things this season, like scrimmage other leagues, and other teams and stuff. That's fun to do as a team. D-Funk's like family, so it's always fun.
L: There was a lot of improvement by a lot of the newer girls like Turbo, who started as one of our draft picks this year. It seems like every practice they've gotten better, and better, and better. You can see it when she plays the travel team too. Even Meryl, who's been around, her game has gotten better, and better, and better. The whole team too. We're a much better team since the first bout of the season. We've just improved, improved, improved. The way it ended tonight was disappointing.
U: The seasons are judged by wins and losses. Nobody is going to remember who was second or who was last this year. They got the trophy. Our season, we judge completely different ourselves. We tried to be respectful. We tried to do the right thing, and have fun. So it's a success. The results are what they are, but we'll be alright. We'll be back on.
D: Any retirements coming up that you know of?
L: I hope not.
8: I'm undecided. After tonight, somethings...feel okay leaving in my heart, but some things don't. I guess I'm not really sure yet.
F: She's the only one I know of for sure.
U: There's always retirements. You get out and do your thing. It'll be a new season next year for sure.